Collaborating with the Lord

Collaboration. Co-laboring. In marriage, collaboration is important because husbands and wives need to work together.... to be on the same page.... be in harmony and unity...as a team. However, what couples so often forget to do,  is to allow God's Holy Spirit to be at the center of the equation instead. How it should happen, is couples seek God first, then begin to dialog together as to how they believe God is leading them. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you."

We quite often run out ahead of God leaving the protective covering He has provided for us. Doing this frequently leads to our disillusionment with the mission we feel He has placed within our hearts. Running ahead of God can be mistaken for running with God. Yes, maybe God did give you a good idea, but did you let Him finish His thought or did you finish it for Him?

There is a great passage of scripture upon which we have meditated for years: Proverbs 16: 3 AMP - "Roll your works upon the Lord, commit and trust your way unto Him and He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will and so shall your plans be established and they shall succeed."

In your marriage, have you done what this scripture suggests? By allowing His thoughts to become our thoughts, we get the whole revelation of what God is trying to communicate to us. But it doesn't happen overnight! It takes time and careful meditation upon His word and listening for the Holy Spirit's wisdom regarding our situation.

Years ago we received a prophetic word regarding our ministry together for married couples. That we would be involved in instructing and guiding couples, leading them into God's will for their relationships. We received that word with gladness however it took many years for the fulfillment of that word. During those years God was at work in us causing our thoughts to become agreeable to His will. Now He has firmly established His plans in our hearts and we are fully engaged in doing His work.

Co-laboring is a "Third Cord" concept. We must train our minds to invite His Spirit into every aspect of our life; especially our thoughts. His ways are so much higher than ours that sometimes our minds get in the way of being able to grasp the significance of His thoughts. However, with time and careful attention to Him and His Word, we get the revelation He is communicating to us. The magnitude of His thoughts overwhelm our natural minds. As we invite the Spirit, His thoughts become our thoughts and we can see what was once hidden from us.

Here are some active steps to take to begin the co-laboring process:

• As a couple, come together in prayer seeking God's insight and wisdom. 
• Dialogue between yourselves as to what you're hearing from God.
• Spend time meditating on His Word as it relates to your situation. 
• Expect God to speak and receive confirmation from Him.
• Walk patiently in faith, thanking Him that His perfect plan will come to pass.

Restoration Spirit!

Jamie and I recently ran into a couple that we had counseled for several months back in the Summer of this year. They had been through some tough times together and he had recently lost his job due to a corporate downsizing. Their relationship had gone from bad to worse and they needed help.

Thankfully both of them had reached the point where they were ready to listen. If you counsel couples, you know what I mean! We've met with so many couples as I'm sure many of you have that are just getting their ticket punched prior to finalizing a divorce. One or both of them agree to come for a meeting just to say "there I've done it, it didn't work and now I'm leaving".

We counsel based upon the power of the Holy Spirit only and not with human wisdom. So during our first meeting we sensed that there were some significant hindrances from there backgrounds. He had come out of a household in which his parents never fought but stuffed everything. His father would simply walk away whenever there was a disagreement. She conversely had come from a home in which her parents fought incessantly. They basically never resolved disagreements but would follow each other through the house arguing. You see the problem when those two styles of conflict resolution meet.

The issue was really rather simple to resolve once the Holy Spirit had revealed the root cause of their problem. They were following the patterns set for them by their parents. In this case we were able to help them break the cycle of her aggressive behavior towards him and his "turtle" behavior of going into his shell. Communication was key in this as we helped them to communicate the way they felt without resorting to their past pattern of dealing with each other.

We always require that couples pray with and for each other in the counseling process and in this case we could see the power of prayer transforming their relationship. They told us that evening we ran into them of how it had been a turning point in their relationship. They were learning how to communicate with each other and understand the others point of view. The Holy Spirit was reconciling their broken relationship and deepening their love together.

It was great to get some feedback from them and to hear their story of renewal. The Holy Spirit is a restorer of the breach and is always ready to come and minister life to us if we will only ask Him and allow Him to work a miracle in our hearts!
Blessings,
Alan and Jamie

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

We went to help celebrate my (Jamie) brothers 50th birthday last night. On the agenda for the evening there was to be a roast of my brother, Charlie. I had planned to share, but everyone was enjoying the festivities so well that it got late. Being that I was recovering from a sinus infection partnered with laryngitis we needed to leave when the clock struck 9:30.

It was a shame to miss that part because I had prepared to share about my brothers younger years.  Few there new him during his boyhood years, but so often it shows you a glimpse into things to come. That night someone by the fire pit asked me if Charlie was always as creative as he is now. God designs us perfectly and scripture says that “He even knows us before we were formed in our mothers womb.” So I will share about him...

My brother, Charlie, is a great guy. He is creative, gifted, innovative, funny, loves nature and life and has favor wherever he goes! How’s that for near perfect. He worked for Southern Living (maintaining and designing gardens, and was Garden Editor) while in high-school then after college and all of his career until the last two years where he has stepped out in faith and begun his own gardening business at the Garden Gallery (shameless advertising).

As a young boy, at some point, my grandmother (who did not live in our town) spoke to my mother, expressing great concern of Charlie not having enough male influence in his life. At that young age he was surrounded by three older sisters and an “at home” mother, but a father that was on the road a great deal of the time.

My mother, was creative in her own right, and coupled with a limited budget and not wanting to make a significant investment until she knew something was going to “take,” sent Charlie down the street where we had a neighborhood lake. He took a long stick, a string tied to it and small safety pin attached to the string. You got it, a home-made fishing pole. I don’t even think Charlie used bait! And guess what he came home with? In less than an hour there was a commotion at the front door and in come the three musketeers, Charlie and his two buds, Ray and Ted Blackston. And there on the safety pin, Charlie had a brim about two inches long. Wearing an ear to ear grin, up until that day, I believe it was the happiest day Charlie had spent on earth.

At a young age, he exhibited tendencies to being a “real” mans-man. But my mother being a peace loving woman, didn’t feel right about buying toy guns for her little boy to play with. So what did Charlie do? Got a clothes pin, clipped a long unsharpened pencil in it and used it as a gun! Running through the house saying pow-pow, we quickly learned that there was “built-in” innovation and determination in this little boy. 

Any season you go to my brothers house these days, you will see the most unusual things exhibited in the most unusual ways. Creatively and beautifully he brings together rustic and nature. It is an adventure just walking through rooms in his house just taking things in. He is fearfully and wonderfully made because of the time that was taken to develop him. By his grandmothers concerns, my mother leapt to action. The intervention, introduction and development had been executed in giving him the ability to see and function in the world creatively. 

It is the same with the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is there, scripture says, placed within us as a “down payment” when we become Christians. But unless it is developed or tapped into, we don’t experience it to the full. And as Charlie was determined, he pursued that “deep” need within him. Because it was in his DNA. The Holy Spirit is also part of our DNA as believers. We must be determined and pursue the Holy Spirit to fill that “deep” need that we have to find who we are, who we are to be and what the plan for life is. 

“A mans heart plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps” -Proverbs 16:9

“And I walk at liberty, and at ease, for I have sought and inquired for [and desperately required],  Your precepts.” -Psalm 119:45 AMP

A Godly focus on marriage

Jamie and I believe that God has given us a specific message to deliver to the body of Christ as well as the anointing to have our message received by the Church. Both of us have come out of stable households where our parents have been in long term marriages. 

Jamie’s mother passed away a number of years ago having been diagnosed with MS in her early thirties. We witnessed her Dad’s loving care for her during her slow decline in health until her eventual death. His love for her was and will always be a picture of God’s love for us demonstrated through the life of one of his faithful followers. 

I think that is part of the reason God has chosen us to speak His word concerning marriage. You need to understand that most spouses of MS patients leave their mates. In view of that statistic, it is particularly significant that Jamie’s Dad didn’t leave but provided the majority of her Mom’s care for over 20 years. It has been a powerful picture of their love for each other and God’s plan for how we are to live together as husbands and wives. 

Today the divorce rate in the U.S. stands at 50% for first marriages and 65% for second marriages. Even higher for a third or fourth marriage. The biggest reason for divorce? There are many but all tied to one general theme; “We just couldn’t get along.” And our children have born the brunt of our unfaithfulness to our mates. Today, 85% of kids with behavioral problems and 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. Children from single parent homes are more likely to have teenaged pregnancies and suffer a host of emotional and behavioral problems.

If this were not bad enough and it certainly is bad, the divorce rate in the church is the same if not worse than in the general population. We make all the same excuses for why we can’t get along and then have the audacity to bring God into the mix and say “God doesn’t want me to be unhappy.” I can hear the voice of Jesus saying “you are badly mistaken, have you not read in my word that I hate divorce?”

Please hear me in what I am saying and what I am not saying. I am saying that divorce is much to prevalent in our society. We are casual in our commitment to each other when we should be married for life. I have even witnessed pastors in their zeal to focus on evangelism say that marriage is unimportant in relation to bringing people into the Kingdom. What heresy! How many people have been turned off permanently by the ungodly ways in which we have treated out marriage mates?

What I am not saying is that there is never a legitimate reason for divorce. There certainly are and we must never encourage someone to remain in a dangerous or unhealthy relationship where their own safety or health is put at risk by the sinful behavior of a spouse. 

What we need is a godly focus on what God considers important. We need to put our own selfish desires away and ask for forgiveness. Jesus responded when asked by the Pharisees regarding divorce. “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.” 

Power Potential

This week at church we had guest speaker, Robby Dawkins (The Finger of God, Furious Love), come and speak. It was one of those times when we’re called to a place outside of our comfort zone. He reminded us that Jesus, more often than not, ministered to the UN-Churched, whereas most of us in church, minister in the most obvious place, Church. The place where we won’t standout. Less awkward. Less conspicuous.

However, Robby stretches us to look for those around us when in public places, especially in dark places when there is a need. Why? Because the enemy already thinks he has won those lost types into his kingdom, and there is less resistance. Less warfare. Robby reminds us that God really loves those less lovely types. We encounter less warfare with these types than when ministering to a Christian. There is more resistance with Christians because of his fear of the power potential. 

These lost, dark types need reaching as well. That is what Jesus modeled. He ministered to the sick (physically and mentally), maimed (crippled, blind, etc), prostitutes, tax collectors (dishonest business men), adulterers, etc. The next day, I was in Target and the little, old lady in line in front of me was saying how badly her toothache was. I knew what God was up to. The question is, was I up for the challenge? 

I was reminded of Robby’s comment to obSERVE where there is need around you. She definitely had need. So after my purchase I caught up with her and asked about her tooth. Then I asked to pray for her to be healed. She thanked me afterward telling me the pain was gone. It was a moment that ministered to me more than to her because I was obedient.  It was a win-win power moment 1) for me, but more importantly, 2) for her as she was reaching her “power potential” by recognizing The Healer of her body and her life and 3) for growing the kingdom of God.