Thursday, November 24, 2011

A Godly focus on marriage


Jamie and I believe that God has given us a specific message to deliver to the body of Christ as well as the anointing to have our message received by the Church. Both of us have come out of stable households where our parents have been in long term marriages. 
Jamie’s mother passed away a number of years ago having been diagnosed with MS in her early thirties. We witnessed her Dad’s loving care for her during her slow decline in health until her eventual death. His love for her was and will always be a picture of God’s love for us demonstrated through the life of one of his faithful followers. 
I think that is part of the reason God has chosen us to speak His word concerning marriage. You need to understand that most spouses of MS patients leave their mates. In view of that statistic, it is particularly significant that Jamie’s Dad didn’t leave but provided the majority of her Mom’s care for over 20 years. It has been a powerful picture of their love for each other and God’s plan for how we are to live together as husbands and wives. 
Today the divorce rate in the U.S. stands at 50% for first marriages and 65% for second marriages. Even higher for a third or fourth marriage. The biggest reason for divorce? There are many but all tied to one general theme; “We just couldn’t get along.” And our children have born the brunt of our unfaithfulness to our mates. Today, 85% of kids with behavioral problems and 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. Children from single parent homes are more likely to have teenaged pregnancies and suffer a host of emotional and behavioral problems.
If this were not bad enough and it certainly is bad, the divorce rate in the church is the same if not worse than in the general population. We make all the same excuses for why we can’t get along and then have the audacity to bring God into the mix and say “God doesn’t want me to be unhappy.” I can hear the voice of Jesus saying “you are badly mistaken, have you not read in my word that I hate divorce?”
Please hear me in what I am saying and what I am not saying. I am saying that divorce is much to prevalent in our society. We are casual in our commitment to each other when we should be married for life. I have even witnessed pastors in their zeal to focus on evangelism say that marriage is unimportant in relation to bringing people into the Kingdom. What heresy! How many people have been turned off permanently by the ungodly ways in which we have treated out marriage mates?
What I am not saying is that there is never a legitimate reason for divorce. There certainly are and we must never encourage someone to remain in a dangerous or unhealthy relationship where their own safety or health is put at risk by the sinful behavior of a spouse. 
What we need is a godly focus on what God considers important. We need to put our own selfish desires away and ask for forgiveness. Jesus responded when asked by the Pharisees regarding divorce. “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.”